maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
