Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
