I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
