Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
