whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize