i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
