So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
