sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
