Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
