She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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