i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize