so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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