We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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