Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she pinky promised me she was 18
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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