Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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