so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
