You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
