so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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