Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
