wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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