I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
