On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
