Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
