He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
