Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
