We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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