mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
