Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
