She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
