Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
