I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
