hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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