idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
and you fell through a lawn chair
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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