shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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