dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
