Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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