i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
