The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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