dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
