Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
