Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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