I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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