dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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