He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
