I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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