This is not my ceiling
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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