well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
