I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
