It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
