Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
