This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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