Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dicks are not precious.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize