Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
