I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
