I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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