i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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