Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
