After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Everclear isn't food dammit
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
