the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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