I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
