help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
only if we run a train.
done.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
