Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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