I hate your face
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Randomize
