He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I want to fling myself into the sun
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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