my vag is so smooth its legendary
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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