Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Who put my cat in the fridge?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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