God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The convent might be a nice break from real life
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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