looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i dont even know how to be here
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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