Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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