Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
